By Angus Kenny.

After a great season of Sunday cricket, it was time for the final league match of 2026 Division 3 West title charge campaign. Despite being nowhere near getting promoted, the Sunday side looked to end the season well with a win away against yet-to-win-a-game Leybourne. As usual with Sundays, not many arrived on time, perhaps helped this time however due to a lack of parking at the ground, leading to much confusion on how to navigate through the housing estate to get to the ground.

Given half the team were consuming beverages until early that same morning, this proved a greater challenge than one would’ve hoped, however eventually the side were greeted by what looked like the school field attached to an adjacent primary school, with sight screens that still showed some of the red brick wall they were supposed to be covering, a nastily uneven outfield, and a classic Sunday away-day wicket, with notably unevenly placed stumps.

After seeing the weeds on a length, it is rumoured that Si had almost had a heart attack so severe that the Chairman’s spare pacemaker was nearly needed.

Given the level of celebration that had happened the night before, and the day in the calendar, however, the team still gave Lush one job at the toss – BAT!

To everyone but opening pair Kenny and Si, we were relieved to be stuck in by the opposition.

After some more tasteful words about the appearance of the wicket, Kenny and Si started slowly but well, looking to see off the first spell.

The opposition opened with a mix of decent and slower pace, proving slightly tricky with the occasional inconsistent bounce, with both Kenny and Barker recieving their fair share of good length balls popping and wide balls shooting.

The pair ran well, taking advantage of the questionable bounce in the outfield, and the keen but clearly inexperienced opposition fielders, with Barker in particular striking the ball well for some lovely boundaries.

With the opening pair going wicketless, the oppo brought on their first change, and after seeing the 80-year-old marking his run up, Si shared a slightly fearful look with Kenny.

However, the pair navigated the change bowlers well, continuing to accumulate runs well until Kenny managed to get a leading edge off the 80-year-old and was caught from a sharp catch behind the stumps by the opposite keeper, who did a good job standing up to all of his bowlers.

Kenny departed for 20 after a solid opening stand of 79 after 17 overs.

With the platform set, Ollie Marriner arrived at the middle with a point to prove and immediately struck the ball hard for some solid boundaries leaving us 90-1 at drinks.

A few balls after drinks Si was caught behind after looping a catch up to the keeper for a valiant 41 bringing Lush’s student Leo Petty to the crease.

After showing some authority with a crunching boundary through cover point Petty was unfortunately caught at extra cover for 5.

This brought the skipper Alex Lush to the crease at number 5, originally stating he would bat 8, perhaps to ‘give others a game’, but clearly, he thought otherwise once he realised the wicket was playing slightly better than expected. Nevertheless, him and Marriner put on a solid partnership with some brutal boundaries and typical aggressive running and two big sixes off the bat of Lush.

This was, however, until Lush decided to spare Marriner of a well-deserved 50 by calling an attempted run off a non-existent overthrow (the cover fielder had already picked up the ball when the call was made) and an accurate throw was all it took for Ollie to be run out for a fantastic innings of 48.

Many pieces of advice were given to Ollie on how to deal with Lushy after being barbequed, with some suggesting he was owed a drink, with others suggesting a more violent course of action, though rather wholesomely Marriner received a heartfelt apology from Lush later on.

After this, it was one Ollie out, one Ollie in with Private Patton Jr joining Lush, with the task of continuing the acceleration, which is what the pair did.

Patton was clearly still seeing the ball well following his biffing the day before, and hit some beauties through the extra cover region, and some classy flicks through midwicket.

Lush departed with a few balls remaining for a handy 31(29), bringing Keagan in to end the innings well.

We ended on 234-5 off our 40, with Private 36(30) and Keagan 3*, with E.Xtras almost raising his bat after scoring a valuable 44.

A truly magnificent tea then followed, with Kenny having to drown himself in insulin after the dozen doughnuts he consumed, and we trudged out to field, hoping to bowl the opposite out quickly.

Lush opened first up from the primary school end, looking to statpad some more Sunday wickets (because he hasnt got enough on Saturdays either to be fair to him), and was moving the ball well.

Lance Corporal Patton opened from the other end and was getting some solid in-swing. After bowling a beauty which stunned Kenny so much behind the stumps that he dropped the feather through to him, Max instantly struck, after the batsman skied a full toss to Keagan at midwicket, bringing our first breakthrough in the second over.

This brought the Leybourne skipper to the crease, who looked decent.

Lush soon trapped the other opener LBW however, bringing his 456th wicket of the season, and by now was in a decent rhythm, getting some good lift from the wicket, clearly troubling their number 4, who took two nasty blows to the finger.

It was Lance Corporal who got the next breakthrough however, who was able to clean bowl their number 4 leaving the oppo 39-2 finishing with a solid spell of 6-32-2.

Lush clean bowled their rather nervous looking number 5 for a duck in the next over for yet another wicket, and promptly took himself off, finishing with a sharp spell of 7-2-25-2.

Max was replaced by Keagan, who bowled with some solid pace, bowling their number 6 in his first over, after SI shouted ‘Yes Keagan!!!’ almost before the ball had pitched, sensing he had finally pitched one in the right area.

Out strode the Leyboune number 6, who prompted a bit of concern given the back of his bat was completely black – described as obsidian by some, with Petty remarking that the bloke had ‘got his bat from the nether’ (a joke that will likely go over the heads of anyone unfamiliar with a certain video game full of blocks – and no its not ‘Angus Kenny Batting Simulator’)

Replacing Lush was Jamie ‘9-overs-up-the-hill-please-’ Baker who was immediately on the money, removing Leybourne’s number 6 by attracting Jerry’s magic finger after he was plum in front, and the number 7 who was caught well by Private in his first over, now leaving the oppo at an ominous 72-7.

Soon after Keagan took the big wicket of their skipper for 27 who was caught by a very good catch by a just-about awake enough Henry Simpson at third man. We were now looking to finish things off quickly.

Their number 10, who looked a decent bat, had other ideas though, hooking Keagan for 6 later in the over, and hitting another huge six over long on off Baker. However, Baker soon attracted jerry’s reflexes yet again after another LBW removing their number 9, bringing their 80-year-old veteran to the crease at 11, with Lush remarking that he ‘wouldn’t have seen bowling like this since the 70s’. Some straight batted textbook blocks proved otherwise, however a couple overs later Baker finished his Leybourne Burglary by bowling their swinging number 10 leaving him with a well deserved 4-14 off 3.4 overs, and Keagan finishing with good figures of 4-32-2, leaving the oppo all out for 116 with E.Xtras top scoring with a marvellous 37.

A huge thanks and well done to Nathan Salter for coming in after a late drop out, who fielded superbly with his usual rapid chasing and rocket arm.

This left the Sunday XI in a humble 6th place in Div 3 West, although had our ringers Peter Trott and Nigel Baker been registered earlier in the season, we couldve ended up in 4th. A great effort considering we won 7 out of our last 8 matches, and great contributions from many players throughout the league campaign, notably:

Alex Lush – 230 league runs (with a maiden ton and a 50) at 38.33, with 17 wickets at 12

Angus Kenny – 228 runs at 28.5 (with 2 50s)

Simon Barker – 210 league runs (1 50 and an average of 132 against the Kent Royals) at 23

James West – 172 league runs at 34 with 16 league wickets at 13.5

Jamie Baker – 11 wickets at 27

A massive thanks to Lushy for skippering this season – he has done a great job at developing us youngsters and backing us. We definitely have a shot at promotion next year if we are a year better.

And a huge thanks to Jerry for umpiring and as always giving some valuable advice and insights to us youngsters especially that goes a long way.

And finally, a huge thanks to Jac for scoring for us in his first season at Bearsted, very much appreciated!

Thanks to those who have read this far, I hope you have enjoyed,

Angus Kenny (on match report debut)