Buoyed by a well fought win at home to Outwood the 1st Xi arrived at the picturesque Penshurst Park ready to add another 20 points to their tally. Confidence was high, although not too high and the pitch was dry but not too dry. A classic bat first. After their umpire and skipper navigated the tricky question from Jerry about what would happen in the unlikely event of the ball coming to rest directly under one of the styles around the boundary fence but not quite touching the fence, the coin went up with the plucky skipper calling “taaeeerrrhhhheeeads”. Taheads it was and we will bat first.

Out to the middle strode Bedwell and N Johnston with the team ecstatic over the coin toss especially as Simon had messaged to say he would be late (meaning he would be really really late), Benj was flying back from Geneva and somewhere between 5 and 9 other players were nursing hangovers. Sadly, Lewis was soon returning to the dressing room exclaiming he wished we bowled first with Dan Seaman replacing him.

It is important to note here that due to the budget nature of the oppo’s frogbox/CCTV and the fact that the bare minimum amount of information has been submitted on play cricket (despite the very detailed scoring) the exact order of events and some of the supporting statistics may be factually incorrect.

Anyway, Dan went out to the middle and then returned to the changing room to be replaced by Miles. A rough guess on the score would be 30/2 from 10 overs with Milo, being told to please bat more than 20 balls and don’t make this into a cameo. Milo then proceeded to smash the ball out of the park for fun on his way to a 30 ball (ish) mini cameo and 47 very impressive runs. With Noel playing beautifully at the other end we can assume that the score was something like 49/3 when Miles departed to be joined by Benj after he had removed his compression socks.

The family pharmaceutical giant of Jonston and Johnston then went about putting on a beautiful partnership of something in excess of 48 runs as Benj departed for a very well made 48 from a number of balls that will never be known. Noel at the other end had nudged his way to 10. That is a joke of course. It was more like 15.

Westy (9), Pep (18), Lushy (3*) and Simon (4*) all played their part, but all jokes aside it was the innings from Noel that allowed us to amass a very respectable 236/7 from our 40 overs. Noel played a beautiful innings scoring 82 runs possibly from 210 balls but equally possibly from 120 balls which included a supreme straight 6 down the ground. When did Noel last hit a 6 I hear you all ask? This was his first 6.

With refreshments taken out we went in jovial fashion excited about the defence ahead. Lushy and Jimbo opened up against Penshurst’s dangerous opening pair and on a decent wicket the pair started well. An early change to spin saw Benj take over from Jimbo and, in possibly his 2nd or 3rd over, made the breakthrough we needed. Their top run scorer smashed it, whipping it from middle and leg just to the left of Noel’s head and at a frightening speed and Noel gobbled it up like a rice cracker topped with peanut butter. Stunning catch.

The opposition’s number 3 then came into bat and the oppo started to rebuild. With Milo replacing lushy he took an edge early ish from the new batsman only for that idiot behind the stumps to drop it. In his defence, and I have spoken to him to confirm this, the ball did smash him in the forearm and as left a rather nasty bruise, but he should have taken it.

With runs amassing and wickets not falling worried glances were shared across the team and things looked bleak. A breakthrough looked unlikely until Milo took another edge from their same bat and this time it went straight into the gloves of the unreliable little fella behind the stumps. The score was now probably 140/2 but could have been more. Or indeed less.

With Benj bowled out (9 overs 1/45) Pep was the one to replace him and made a crucial breakthrough early after their number 4 skied one to long on where the safe hands of Milo awaited (not put off by their number 4 repeatedly chastising either himself or Milo). 160/3 now (possibly) and things remained tense. Could Pep work some magic? Perhaps take another 3 wicket haul in an over maybe? Yes he could! The order is unclear but their opener, sat on 95, tried to moo one from outside off over cow corner and the ball took a massive outside edge to which the unnamed keeper leapt salmon like and took with aplomb, before their number 5 played a similar shot requiring Lewis to make up a lot of ground from extra cover, taking a sharp catch and then their number 6 was clean bowled first ball! What an over from Pep! A hattrick would top it all off but alas not this time.

As the oppos run chase stalled, we felt as though we were cruising to a hard worked win. Pep took his 5th wicket catching their number 7 plumb LBW and a very well deserved 5fer it was. After their number 9 then played out a maiden to Lush the relief was clear and the game was won. The rollercoaster had stopped. Phew. Whhhhaaaack. 6. Don’t bowl there Pep. Whhhhaaacccck! 6. Please Pep, no! Smmmmash another 6. Pep? A few more 6s then ensued meaning that the opposition now needed 12 from 2 balls to win and the rollercoaster had started another lap, climbing back up towards its main descent. Surely they can’t win it? And surely we can’t lose it?

In come’s Pep. 2 balls left. Game in the balance. Nerves frayed. Panic well and truly spreading like wildfire. In he comes, bowls, blockhole, dot ball! You beauty!! What a delivery. Balls. Of. Steel. Match won. Jerry signals for 1 ball remaining. The opposition umpire then signals 2 balls remaining. The opposition scorer declares 3 balls remaining. The skipper is virtually in tears at this point. He thought it was only 1 ball? In runs Pep, and BANG, massive 6. 1 ball to go. What a rollercoaster. Actually, that was the game over. The opposition umpire was wrong and the skipper hadn’t heard but the opposition scorer was having a joke apparently. And what a great joke that was.

What a win! By 5 runs! We looked in a solid position after the first innings with superb knocks from Noel, Milo and Benj and then looked in a very nervy position midway through their innings only to turn it completely on its head with Pep’s 5 wickets, only to then look like we had lost it with a couple of overs to go, only to win it on the 2nd to last ball. What a game with some ballsy bowling performances and outstanding fielding from every single player. Pep finished with 5/54 from his 7 with Benj 1/45 from 9 and Milo 1/38 from 9 the other wicket takers.

2nd to last home game up next with Meopham travelling to The Brown. Big game. We’ve got this.