1st XI v Marden

Blazing, hot, muggy, no I'm
not describing our wicket keeper, that was the temperature this Saturday. You
could've mistaken the game for being played in between the tropics.

This week the 1s hosted an
inform Marden team who are unbeaten in the league and made a great start to the
season. Below are some fun facts about the town of Marden;

-> Marden is host to the
The Marden Fruit Show established back in 1993 in which the local grocers take
part to show their best and juiciest apples, peaches and plums in October each
year! A date for the diaries!

-> Marden Parish Council
covered a well in the village in which they erected a pump over. However, they
had to remove it due to contamination of the water after 2 months. Needless to
say the erected pump didn’t last long.

After a strong start to the
season, the 1s looked to make it 4 wins on the trot at our secondary home 'The
Hollies' in as the late Tony Greig would refer to it as pretty squishhy and
sqwelchyly humid conditions. It was a good job there was no Mr Grieg crack cam
today as Simon had prepared a lovely green top wicket with no cracks to be
seen. Our Aussie import Mr J.Griffin took an immediate liking to the
picturesque Hollingbourne ground, quoting it was a better ground than the Green
because and i quote "It's not like playing cricket in the middle of a
city". Some of the team were surprised by this statement given Bearsted is
a small village with only a handful of spectators each week, not like playing
at the MCG. However, Johnston Jnr was quick to remind Joe that these were corn
fields rather than cattle fields that he was used to, and therefore any further
damage to his cracked phone screen (damage incurred when a hurd of cattle from
his ranch trod on his iPhone) would be safe for the afternoon.

Skipper Mark did the
remarkable (no not go and collect the teas from the White Horse, instead
getting Action Man Mr Shutt to perform his errands) and actually won a coin
toss. Having won the toss, he decided to put our troops into the field first.
Having put our whites on, layered up in Boots finest factor 50 sun cream and
listened to 21 Questions Griffin ask further questions about the local farming,
the 1's waddled out to field for the first 40 overs.

A. Lush opened the bowling
from the top end and immediately hit his usual line and length bowling,
troubling the Marden opener who wanted bat on ball from the start. Lush's tidy
start paid dividends when the final ball of his first over was snicked to 1st
slip where M.Hodges took another good catch in the cordon, Marden 0-1 of 1. The
perfect start it seemed. A.Schwarzenegger.. sorry C.Luxton complimented A.Lush
by taking the new ball up the hill and immediately started to hit his rhythm
with 4 maidens in his first 5 overs. A.Lush was nibbling the ball away whilst
C.Luxton was bowling at high speeds and swinging the ball troubling both
batsman. The early pressure exerted by both openers paid out again when they
looked to take a quick single of A. Lush's bowling, to which Arnold Luxton made
a brilliant shy at the stumps to remove the No.3 bat for 6. A big wicket
considering the damage he had done to our bowling attack in the previous
fixture last year with a quick 65. Another quick wicket followed with C.Luxton
removing the No.4 bat troubling the scorers for only 1 with a great delivery
snicked behind. A.Lush again backed up this great start with a wicket in the
following over, removing the No.2 bat for 19 to leave Marden 30-4 after 10
overs. Compliments must be paid for the 3rd week in succession to Spiderman
Noel Johnston for a stunning one-handed catch at mid-wicket. This did not set
the standard to fielding throughout, with A.Lush deciding to gift 5 overthrows
in an attempt to run out the pavilion rather than the 3 stumps in the  ground, and J.Griffin's lackadaisical attempts
to stop the ball at Mid-Off, noting that the decks in Tasmania tend to be a lot
tougher on the joints than those in suburban Kent. C.Luxton finished his
brilliant spell 1-7 of 7 overs with 4 maidens, with A.Lush to return at the
death. Bearsted had made a strong start going into drinks at 54-4 of 15 overs
and with Marden in a slight spot of bother for the first time this season. Again,
further compliments must be paid to Johnston Snr for his delicious choice of fruit
punch at drinks, the Orange & Pineapple Robinson's squash tickling the
taste buds on a scorching afternoon.

After the first drinks
break, Marden started to build a solid foundation to their innings. Skipper
Mark replaced Lush down the hill and found his rhythm immediately picking up
from the last 3 weeks where he has taken 12 wickets in 3 innings. B.Johnston
Jnr replaced C.Luxton from up the hill and found it slightly more difficult to
bed into his usual style. The Hollies ground didn't provide the usual
assistance in the form of turn and bounce found at the green and allowed the
Marden middle order batsman to hit through the line on regular occurrence to
the shorter boundary. B.Johnston finished 8 overs 0-71. Skipper, M.Sandhu
eventually got the breakthrough in the 24 over with a clean bowled to the well
set No.6 bat, a timely wicket in what was a solid 71 run partnership. M.Sandhu
finished another great spell of 9 overs within figures 1-32. W.Terry replaced
B.Johnston up the hill for his first bowling outing of the season. I'm trying
to think of an adjective to describe the first 2 overs of dross but instead
I'll just read out the scorebook. (0, Wide, 1, Wide, 0, 2 Wides, 1 Wide, Wide,
1, Dot, 2 Wides, Wide, 0, 1). The second over followed a similar pattern. The
skipper decided to stick with it and once W.Terry had figured out that he in
fact wasn't bowling to a left hander or trying to get the ball past D.Shutt to
the boundary rather than into his gloves, he started to find some rhythm
removing the well-set No.5 clean bowled for a quickly made 65. Wickets fell at
regular intervals towards the later of the innings with A.Lush returning at the
death to accompany W.Terry, with A.Lush taking a fine caught and bowled to
finish his 9 overs 3-56 and W.Terry taking 2 wickets from the tail to finish 7
overs 3-50. Marden finished the innings on 215-9 from their 40 overs, a score
that seemed around par at the start of the innings, but what could've been
considerably lower given Bearsted's strong start the innings.

Lunch was the usual
civilised dining provided by the White Horse. An array of brie & bacon
rolls (to which J.Haggart was much impressed by) squashed duck wraps, fruit and
sponge was washed down with some much needed water.

N.Johnston and M.Hodges
opened up the batting, chasing what we felt was a par score for the track and
conditions. N.Johnston started well with a nicely timed 4 before being run out
at the bowlers end by a direct hit. N.Johnston was initially disappointed with
the decision after managing to run 25 yards with his feet but then realised his bat had decided to defy the laws of gravity rather than slide along the ground. Son replaced father as B.Johnston strode to
the crease and started well with the innings being anchored by M.Hodges who
looked in good knick. Boss and Johnston Jnr started to tick the scoreboard
along at a nice rate before B.Johnston was struck on the pad by Michael Scott
to depart lbw for 22. Fun fact, despite being named Michael Scott the Marden
change bowler was in fact not regional manager of a paper supply company in the
Scranton area. He was in fact absolutely cracking in the pub and had no hesitation
in getting stuck into "Lushy" or "Aussie Boy" as he referred
to them. The departing of B.Johnston welcomed A.Schwarzenegger (a.k.a C.Luxton)
to the crease still wearing his size large shirt which the Farningham players
so desperately attempted to sledge in the previous match. C.Luxton did what he
does best, using his rear & front deltoids, to muscle the ball for a flurry
of boundaries early in his innings. C.Luxton took a liking to the off spinner
from the bottom end which also proved to be his downfall as he departed for a
swiftly made 28 hauling out to long off with the scorecard 82-3 of 20 overs.

This brought farmer Joey Griffin to the crease having broken 2 of the scorers felt-tip pens lids out of boredom,
our Aussie Import Joe was looking to impress. He had provided light
entertainment on the sideline, explaining how amazing Shoreditch was and that
we should "get the tube from Hollingbourne" up there this evening. We
had hoped that the entertainment provided on the side line would follow out
onto the strip however, having nudged around for 7, J.Griffin also departed to
the off spinner, caught behind trying to work a ball through backward point.
This led M.Sandhu to the crease who accompanied M.Hodges looking to move the scoreboard along. M.Hodges departed for 22 and M.Sandhu for 18 to leave Bearsted in a spot of bother at 119-6 of 27 overs. Things didn't get much better as J.Haggart was bowled 3rd ball without troubling the scorers. D.Shutt came to the crease and looked in good touch hitting some nicely timed boundaries through the off-side before departing for 17. A.Lush looked his tentative self before guiding one to the wicket keeper for 6. This left Bearsted 154-9 needing 61 for victory and the tail didn't wag the way we would loved it to have, with P.Manktelow departing for 5 to leave Bearsted all out for 160 of 35 overs.

A disappointing defeat in a game in which we had really bright spells. Credit goes to Marden who were consistently the better team on the day and proved their league topping position at end of play. Special mentions should be given to the Marden team who accompanied the 1s for a fruitful evening in the pub, and particular to
Marden's scorer who went one better and accompanied the team on the night out
into the majestic Maidstone town centre. Thanks go to Jerry for umpiring in hot
conditions and Simon for preparing a good wicket for both bat and ball. We go
again next week looking to make amends against a strong Eynsford side away.