Bearsted vs Linton Park

The team arrived at Linton 3 full days before the scheduled start time under the leadership of new club Captain, Pass the Coffee and Scones.

Bearsted were put into the field, with Piers Cottee-Jones continuing Mark Sandhu’s poor tossing record. The Linton openers got off to a bit of a flyer, with Miles Henslow being taken out of the attack early, due to A) a poorly ankle after an accident on the swings and slides and B) apparently forgetting what the phrase ‘ outside off’ meant. The pavilion end caused issues for first change bowler Charlie Luxton, who did a moving rendition of Bambi on Ice during every delivery stride. Extras were the high scorer in the first few overs, with all bowlers struggling to find rhythm.

The Linton openers rocketed along to a 100 run partnership, putting the ball to the 4 metre and 1647 metre boundary alike. The tempo of the game changed however when Andrew Dampier MBE bowled his first spell of the season. Once his arm was reattached, he was able to bring the run rate down into double figures, and brought about Bearsted’s first breakthrough. 134-1, the captain taking a good catch at mid-on.

The batting side accelerated further in the last 10 overs, making use of the excellent batting wicket and quick outfield. Miles Henslow decided he could bowl some spin despite his playground injury, and used some excellent accidental variations in length and pace to stop the flow of boundaries. A few late wickets brought Linton to a final total of 219-3 off their assigned 36 overs.

The Bearsted openers started positively with Mark Sandhu and Noel Johnston rotating the strike effectively. Mark was then bowled by a ball he says “ jagged back a mile” which went straight on and took his leg stump. Noel was then caught behind a few overs later. To say this opened the floodgates was a slight understatement. Instead, 4 fully laden Lancaster Bombers struck direct hits on the Ruhr Dams in the Industrial heartland flooding entire cities and drowning thousands.

Charlie Luxton arrived at the crease at 4, and had the brainwave of running his mate out. There were calls of “ yes”, “no”, “ you’ve never got on with my mother”, and “ I want custody of the kids”. Benj Johnston was left stranded. 41-3.

A combination of tight bowling and poor shot selection was Bearsted’s downfall. Some last minute resistance from Dave Schutts and Will Terry was futile however, and we were bowled out for 92.

Despite the loss, the team came away having enjoyed playing at one of the most depressing grounds in the northern hemisphere, and looking forward to seeing how next week’s first competitive fixture plays out.

Thanks to Barry Watling for officiating, Piers Cottee-Jones for his Leadership, John Keeler for pointing out the holes in my technique, and Mum for making my packed lunch.